It’s All Well and Good Until Someone Acts Up

I LOVE being a mom!

I love it when times are good.

I REALLY love it when times are tough!

You may think I’m strange, and you are most certainly correct.

I have seen so many parents who expect perfect behavior from their children, and look to experts to figure out why their children fight with, or disrespect them and their siblings.  You don’t need experts to tell you why your kid acts out…look within!

When my sons act up, when they have a melt down, when they curse at me, (that has only happened once so far, but the oldest is only 14, so I’m preparing for many more) they show me where they need the most help, and sometimes where I need to improve.

If I don’t see things this way, how can I be a mom?

That’s my job.

I relish the opportunity to create a family worthy of the love we profess, and that cannot happen without strife.

Growth is painful.

Growth is scary.

Growth is messy.

Growth is sometimes angry.

Growth is beautiful.

Every parent knows the wonderful feeling of pride when their child is behaving beautifully in front of other adults.   We have all had comments of how well behaved our child is, and those comments give us a parental glow.

It’s all well and good until someone acts up!

Every parent knows the sinking embarrassment when their child is misbehaving in front of other adults.  We have all had those looks, and mumbles directed at us.  (Personal experience here, gang)

Most of us feel the hot spotlight on us as if we, ourselves were misbehaving, and now the world is finally going to recognize that we are bad parents.

When I show my 6th grader his C- in Math so far this trimester, he gets angry with me, and acts up.  When I help him calm down, and understand that the grade is only a measurement of how well he has shown his teacher what he knows, and anger toward me isn’t going to change his grade for the better, we sit down together and figure out what’s up……..then he accepts the consequence of his disrespectful behavior.

His anger was really only a diversion from his fear.  If I only reacted to his acting out with my own ego-fueled anger and discipline, the real issue of how he can be getting a C- in Math, when he does the calculations in his head and reads ahead in the book while the teacher is explaining concepts on the white board, would never be addressed and fixed.  I also would never have known that he was actually being bullied by the kid sitting next to him in math.

Misbehaving is an opportunity for you and your child to learn.  I hate to say this, but many of the negative behaviors my kids display are usually behavioral slaps in the faces of their parents, and can be seen as weaknesses not yet addressed by yours truly, and dad. Here’s the opportunity to take a moment and fix them now for us both!

I’m convinced that too many of our children are being medicated into “normalcy” with their behavioral problems dumped on the schools, because too many parents are busy with their own lives at work and at play, and they are either unwilling or unable to look in the mirror, take stock, and see that the apple does indeed NOT fall far from the tree.

Assisting and watching my sons grow is what brings the most love and pride to my being, and I’ll take the good with the bad every day!

What about you?  Any behaviors you are shocked to see in the mirror?